A Letter to My Dog.

Dearest Pochi,

How are you? I hope you are doing fine there.. All happy and fed-well.. And I seriously hope you are free from fleas and ticks.. It is very unfortunate if you find a friend in them, being nasty things they are.. Pests.. Bad for your health.. I don't want you to get sick.. Never in a million years..

Have you been good friends to the dogs that my cousin Girly and Ngin Ngiang have there? Please don't treat other dogs as your toy okay.. I've seen the way you handled the Garfield Plush Toy I gave you.. You bite him like there's no tomorrow.. But the weird thing is, I know how deeply attached you are to the Garfield.. You got mad once when I tried to take it away from you back in
Cyberia, right? I'll get you another one soon, okay? Its a promise.. =]

You are such a silly dog.. But you know I love you very very much..

You know whats regrettable? The fact that I cannot hug and talk to you every night like I used too, and let me tell you, I missed those moments every single day.. I missed them soo soo much.. You were my friend, always listening to my problems and my rants and never get bored..

And all those private moments we shared together.. Haha.. And you were the only one who saw me naked the most!!

Damn you.. Never keep your eyes closed when I'm changing clothes or after I am done with my bath.. Pervert.. :(

Someday when I get my own house, I promise I will bring you and live with me okay? Then we can live under one roof together again, like last time..

It will be soo much fun, right?? I can hardly wait..

Make sure you take good care of your golden fur coat.. Grooming costs soo much, you know.. Not cheap at all.. hehe..





Till then, hang on tight okay?



Love,
Rozan...

Nothing But a Visitor.

I know I have always been a let down.. I admit it myself; I am... And sadly enough, it never occurred me to change into a better person, you know...

In my right mind, I am always Right.. I do whatever I want, practically because I know I could, and I would.. Nobody would object to what I want, and even if they did, I will always find a way to get what I want, no matter what the cost.. I know, I know.. I am living a completely ignorant life.. And took everything for granted..

I am currently back in my own home, in ol' Kota Kinabalu.. And yet, it is the strangest thing ever.. I just cannot get rid myself of this strange atmosphere.. Maybe this is just me, but I do feel unwanted here.. Like I do not belong here.. It is strange to be home, but not feel at home.. Guess this pretty much describe the title eh? I feel uneasy all the time, anxious beyond my wits; like something bad is going to happen any minute..

Plus the fact that there is no single speck of "proper" food in the house makes it any more worse.. By mean of proper food, I mean cereals, fruits, dairy stuff.. None of that!! How depressing.. All they seem to have are cupcakes, cakes, sugary biscuits.. Needless to say, they only contain sugar and carbs and I am having none of that..

But are they not food you serve to your guest?? You will not be serving your guests cereal and cheese and milk right?? What a weird choice of condiments right? Hahaha..

In the back of my mind, I wish I were back in KL.. Tucked safely in my room, alone.. I was secure, I was happy..

Too bad eh? :(